Opinion

Marriage expenses

July 20, 2017
Marriage expenses

Ahmad Asad Khalil



Al-Madina

THERE have always been a few Saudi men who relied on the charitable projects to help young people get married. The help begins from setting up the house to meeting wedding expenses.

However, these young men are a minority and may not exceed 2 percent of people getting married. The rest are supported by their parents themselves.

Expensive marriages have become a great obsession in our society. This unnecessary wastage of money has complicated the lives of many young men and women in the face of high expectations and distasteful ostentation.

I tried to follow the phenomenon, comparing the average marriage costs in ordinary Arab societies with other communities and found a large variation in spending from marriage preparations until the couple settling in the marital home.

The steps of our marriage have multiple stages and each stage has special traditions to follow. I must portray some images of these specific stages.

It often begins with the mother and son searching for a bride with the specifications sought by the young man. He may set difficult conditions and specifications that could be seen only in dreams or movies.

The search may take months and years before meeting the son's requirements, if not that of the mother and sisters because most young people will agree to any bride from the first look, even if the features resembled a male cousin.

This phase is the least expensive and may cost only some light gifts. However, when this progresses to the next stage, which is the engagement, the need to spend huge amounts of money starts to arise with the discussions on dowry, apartment, wedding receptions and the like.

After a simple calculation of these obligations, I found that it starts at an average of SR100,000 and continues to grow according to the potential demands of the parties.

Thus we hear a lot about the phenomenon of spinsterhood or abstinence in our society. But when the issues affect our sons or daughters, we find ourselves contributing to the spread of the phenomenon in one way or another, either by demanding an expensive dowry or by being picky about conditions such as race, tribe, color and other matters that are not enjoined by our religion and that we have established to satisfy our arrogance and cheap reputation. The high costs eventually immerse us in debt, destroying the hopes and dreams of our children.

What remains here to mention is a saying of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "If a suitor approaches whose religion and character pleases you, then let him marry. Otherwise, there will be a lot of immorality and corruption in the world." — Sunan Al-Tirmidhi.

We pray that we will not be the cause or even a part of this corruption.


July 20, 2017
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