SAUDI ARABIA

Crying babies overwhelm parents and passenger during flight

May 19, 2018

By Razaz Ainousah

Saudi Gazette

THERE is nothing more stressful for parents traveling on an airplane than traveling with an infant during a trip, especially if that trip is more than five hours long. Keeping an infant quiet or asleep during flight is one of the major challenge for parents during such trips for the infants generally show a mind of their own and act at will that could test any parent’s patience on any given day — leave alone on a trip.

On a trip, an infant could become a “bawling bundle” with his cries in rising or varying decibels at any moment and that could put the parents in a spot, as well as their traveling companions. The irony is that no one can see it coming, or let alone understand what triggered the vocal protests, for infants cry for different reasons.

Be it the air pressure they feel in their ears or the buzzing sound created by the pressure, the confined place, which is unusual for them, the surrounding noise at the airports and the plane, the stale smell of the air, or just being in one position for a very long time. Anything could spark the cries, and the parents are used to these sudden change of moods and do not mind the baby’s cries at home since it is in the privacy of their home and not annoying anyone, but in an airplane with passengers around it is a whole different case.

Parents of crying infants not only battle vainly to stem their cries in public places, like at malls, airports and planes, but also are at the receiving end of comical and angry looks with only a few making a genuine effort to go to the parents’ help. At airports, when the child goes on a crying binge, mostly the parents get an angry look before the passengers leave the area but have to bear the bawling in a plane with exasperated looks or gritting of their teeth. Sometimes other passengers shout at the parents to silence the child, which creates an uncomfortable situation that on occasion leads to a verbal or in extreme case, physical fights.

YouTube is full of clips of passengers fighting because of babies crying on airplane and sometimes engaged in shouting and shoving match. The famous clip of a Chinese mother who punched two women passengers because they objected to her infant’s crying is a case in point. The three passengers were arrested when the plane landed in Hong Kong. The same can be said abroad domestic flights when passengers get in an argument because of infants crying. Some passengers find the sound of a young infant crying cute, others find it annoying but whichever the case the moot point here is what can be done of this issue.

We need to understand one basic fact that a passenger who bought a ticket deserves to travel without being discomforted. Others argue that parents cannot control an infant’s mood swings even if they played or tried to distract the infant’s attention with the limited knowledge of what the infant likes or dislikes. In some cases, parents resort to the solution of giving children some medication that puts them to sleep for a couple of hours so the flight for them and others could be smooth. However, many advise against it and Saudi Gazette interviewed number of people in this report over this subject.

Eman Bukhari, a housewife in her early 50s, was grateful to her in-laws during flight. “I remember a long time back when I was traveling with my baby daughter from Johannesburg to Jeddah. My baby had muscle tension in her leg and caused her to cry. Inexperienced at that time, I did not know what was wrong with her. I gave her a bottle of milk, which she turned away from, as her cries became louder. I became nervous at this stage as other passengers, who I considered ungrateful, shouted at me to make her stop crying. My brother-in-law, who was with me at that flight, knew what was wrong with her and started to massage her leg until she stopped crying. My relief knew no bounds, as must have been my child’s.”

Saudi Rami Abdul Aziz, in his late 20s, recalled an incident during a Jeddah and Riyadh flight when two angry men nearly came to blows because of a crying baby. The infant’s father did not like the language of an angry passenger, who was complaining loudly, and gave him a mouthful. The passenger then accused the father of neglect and being clueless in raising his child. The escalating situation was defused by others passengers as the two people walked away simmering.

While other people tend to give their infants medicine to calm them and sleep during the flight. “Right after departing Washington for Jeddah, I give my baby girl a medicine to make her sleep during the flight. I do not want anybody to look at me angrily or raise their voice. I understand it is a long flight and many passengers want to sleep and the last thing they want to hear is the sound of a crying baby,” said Morouj Bafageeh, a law master candidate at King Abdul-Aziz University.

Bafageeh later advised others against giving infants any medicine and to endanger their lives just to make other people comfortable. She said that only once she practiced this and never did it again after an explanation by the elders and health experts.

Esraa Bosatti, who is writer and students mentor, shared her first experience while traveling with an infant. The indirect flight was about 20 hours from San Francisco to Jeddah, and she was very worried of annoying people with her baby’s cries in the plane. As a result, Bosatti wrote a letter in two languages, Arabic and English, which she distributed along with candies to passengers seated close to her. The message was to request their patience as she was traveling with a baby. “When people get bothered or annoyed by the baby, I become stressed as a mother, which ends up affecting my baby further. So, I thought of an idea that would keep everybody on board calm and smiling, because this way I will also feel good and comfortable. And it worked as passengers were understanding, and my stress-free attitude kept the baby calm.”

“And whenever my baby cried, they were smiling and very cooperative,” she said. The flight crew appreciated what she did as they got the atmosphere that was fun and relaxing. Bosatti added, “To passengers, be kind and accepting. Remember that one day you will have a child and you will feel what parents feel. To mothers and fathers, surround your babies with love and calmness, because it’s really important to let the baby stay quiet and comfortable. Don’t be stressed or become angry because of your baby’s crying, for it is the only language the baby communicates through.”

“Nobody takes their infants or toddlers on an airplane for fun,” said Mohamed Ahmed, working in a private company. “It is a public space, and everyone is traveling for a reason.” Ahmed explained that if any kids played or cried on the plane, he would never get upset because he too had been a father to little ones and knows the parents feeling, and would love to help.

“A toddler, who was sitting behind me in the plane, was constantly kicking my seat. Then, she wanted to play peekaboo with me, which we did for a little while. Later, her embarrassed father came to me to apologize for his daughter’s behavior. I told him it was totally fine. She is just a kid wants to play. You cannot keep the baby still for a long time,” he added.

Ahmed explained from his experience that the mothers usually get stressed when their babies cry in the airplane. “As a father, I tried my best to help my wife and support her to feel stress-free by feeding the baby, playing with my small children, and walking to the back of the plane with the baby.”

Mohamed Alhajji, a psychosocial researcher and doctoral student in the United States, said that treating people with small gifts is good gesture. However, from a psychosocial perspective this is unnecessary and does not endorse it as people in the public sphere share the daily experience with good and bad. “Babies in the plane are very prone to feeling pain due to the pressure and the weird situation they see themselves in, and it should be expected the baby would be disturbed and thus express their feeling through crying,” said Alhajji.

Alhajji encourages passengers to appreciate, sympathize and empathize with the mother and parents, who are upset and tired of doing their maximum to respect others and minimize the noise (baby crying) as much as possible. The parents should not feel guilty or shameful. They also must not give their babies medicine to satisfy others. “To avoid these mean looks and raising awareness we really should normalize the fact that babies cry, and we should be ever-ready to support parents,” said Alhajji.

“I think we will socially stigmatize a natural reaction that is not in anyone’s control. If we keep doing this, the message sent out would be that crying is not normal and you should either say sorry to me or us candies to escape our mean looks or verbal ire. This will set a new standard that I don’t agree with,” he added.

If a passenger has any problem with the parents of a crying baby in the plane, the crew can take the necessary action to change the seat of the passenger who is disturbed by the child’s crying, explained flight attendant Wajdi Taweli, who stated that most of the infants cry due to the sudden change in the cabin pressure. The crew has expertise in dealing with this type of situation. “The role of the flight attendants is to help the mother to find a way to calm the crying baby, such as finding the reason for the screaming or crying, allowing the parents the freedom to walk in the cabin until the child sleeps or even call for a crew member to carry the baby,” he added.

Distributing candies to the passengers has never happened during Taweli’s travels for more than 16 years. “Not all the passengers will accept this action. Sometimes the mother puts herself in an awkward position by what seems to be some sort of a ‘bribe’,” he added.

Tips for the parents while traveling with babies:

1- See a doctor for any necessary medicine before traveling.

2- Use a pacifier or bottle during take off and landing to help with the ear discomfort caused by varying cabin pressures.

3- Plan the flight around the infant’s sleeping time.

4- Take your child’s favorite toys to keep them busy during the flight.

5- Do not ever stress out if your child cries. Allow time for the infant to calm down.

6- Ask for help.

Tips for passengers:

1- Be patient and respect others.

2- Provide help if you could.

3- Bring earplugs while traveling.

4- Change your seat if you are super annoyed.

5- Don’t blame the parents.

6- Be aware that kids face air pressure in the plane just like adults, who can take remedy for it.


May 19, 2018
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