By Amal Al-Sibai
Saudi Gazette
Much controversy surrounds the issue of polygamy and why Islam permits it and whether it is actually encouraged in Islam or simply a permissible exception.
In Islam, the norm is monogamy and that is what is encouraged. Islam does not encourage polygamy, it allows it for specific reasons and even then, it is allowed only under certain conditions.
The verses in the Holy Qur’an which address polygamy are often taken out of context and with disregard for the historical situation at the time in which these verses were revealed.
{And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.} (Chapter 4, verse 3)
These verses were revealed after the Battle of Uhud, in which many Muslim men were killed, leaving widows and orphans. Thus, these verses have been revealed to protect the women and orphans who were left without husbands and fathers to provide for them. Their men had died in battle. Permission to marry more than one woman was the solution to a social problem at the time, because in their society women depended largely on men for economic survival. A widow’s orphan children may have property in their name that could be stolen or mismanaged by others in the society if their rights were not looked after and protected. Marriage could help ensure that the rights of the widow and her children be protected.
In Arabia, before Islam, it was the common practice of men to marry multiple wives. In fact, Islam put a limitation to the limitless marriages of men during the period of Jahiliyyah, or Ignorance. It was customary for men to marry women without limit, a practice that ended with the advent of the Qur’an and its divine revelation.
Islam allowed the marriage of no more than four wives, and this permission was given only if the husband could treat each wife fairly and justly. It is stated in the verse that being content with one wife is the closest way to justice. If a man fears that he will be unable to treat each wife equally if he marries more than one, then he must be content with one wife and it is forbidden for him to marry more than one in that case.
In order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife, he should treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, living conditions, and even the gifts he gives them. He must also allot equal time and attention to each of his wives. So, in Islam, the marriage to another wife demands more responsibility on the husband towards his wife. It is not merely serving the man’s desires for physical pleasure.
Another reason which may necessitate a man to marry another wife may be if the woman is barren and the husband desires children. The first wife can ask for a divorce, or she can agree to her husband’s second marriage, and she still has all the rights to her husband’s companionship, respect, love, fair treatment, and that he generously provides for her as well.
Some scholars are of the opinion that although polygamy is allowed in Islam for certain reasons and under strict conditions, it is frowned down upon.
These scholars fear that if a man marries more than one wife, he risks oppressing either of his wives. The requirement of meting out justice amongst a plurality of wives would be immensely challenging for any man.
Therefore, these scholars think that it is preferable to avoid polygamy altogether, so one does not even come near the chance of committing the forbidden deed of dealing unjustly between the wives. There are sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) which warn of punishment from Allah for the man who treats his wives unfairly.
In the Hadith recorded in Ibn Majah, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says, “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralyzed in the Day of Judgment.”
Marriage is no light matter in Islam and it comes with duties and responsibilities. In some cultures, people are repulsed by the concept of polygamy, yet having mistresses and extra-marital affairs are becoming so rampant in their societies that these practices are slowly becoming acceptable in their culture.
