“HAPPY one month anniversary!”
“What did you get me?!” she exclaims.
“What you wanted” and he winks at her.
“Really?! Paris!! Oh my God! You are the best!”
“And these sapphire earrings,” he smiles.
She jumps with joy and hugs him tightly like she’d never let go.
And the movie ends.
Instagram. Snapchat. Movies. Shows. Each of these manifesting surrealism in its own way.
Ogling the picturesque places the random girl is going to or the ring which has a diamond the size of a fist being given by that famous person to his fiancée. The drool-worthy gown she wore at the wedding and the honeymoon she took to the Maldives. And the other random girl whose husband always takes her out to dine and snapchats every meal of the day to make you jealous.
Obliviously weaving threads of massive expectations, waiting to marry that perfect guy with the gigantic house and then life will be all rainbows and unicorns.
And then you get married.
*POP!*
And the bubble bursts.
The rampantly increasing expectations in today’s relationships are the biggest cause of disappointments, each marriage partner failing to realize that it takes months and years to build a relationship, heaps of sacrifices and selflessness.
What this generation lacks is patience. There is a feeling of outrage when the food is served late or dismay when it seems to take forever for the fancy utopic dreams to turn into reality.
Every marriage has a key to happiness; it is not necessarily the same for everyone, but the amalgam never varies.
Start with the little things, the ones you always tend to ignore and take for granted. A peck on the cheek for the chocolate he got you, a hug for when he called you gorgeous. Appreciating each other for the tiniest things, complimenting him when he looks nice, wearing his favorite suit; it’s the little things that make a big difference. Smother him with love and affection; he needs it! We all do.
There will be a few (many) days when you fight over the silliest things, massive things; but isn’t that what every relationship is about, to be in love with someone, to trust someone, to argue and make up?
Like happy people say, the fundamental rule of a happy married life is for the marriage partners never to lose their temper at the same time.
The first few years is when you get to know each other, you mold each other, you make mistakes, you learn.
He hasn’t had a wife before and you haven’t had a husband before; it’s a whole new world for the two of you. Don’t be too hasty in judging because it’s a two-way road. Be vocal about how you feel, suppressing feelings can be fatal for your mind and expecting your spouse to understand your feelings about something he said 26 hours ago is not a legitimate reason to be upset.
Never jeopardize your happiness by comparing it with the woman who is your cousin’s friend. There may be plenty of things you have that she misses in life, everyone has their backpack of troubles and burdens hidden in places you least expect.
The earphones always end up getting tangled, but you always manage to untangle them at night when you want to hear your favorite song for a peaceful sleep.
Love and understanding is all you both need.
Challenging? Understatement. But once you understand each other through and through, it is going to be one of those utopic dreams finally coming true.
Fakeha Xinjani,
Jeddah
