Saudi Gazette report

 

AREEJ still remembers the day when her maid Rita came to her house for the first time. Areej was very nice to her, treated her respectfully and never gave her more work than what she could handle.



Not for one second did Areej think that her maid could steal her husband. After all, her husband never liked the maid, he told his wife, and was always avoiding contact with her.



However, Areej noticed, over time, something fishy about her husband’s relationship with the maid. She could swear that something was going on between them.



Suspicious, Areej decided to send the maid back to her homeland. Five months later, Rita was back in Saudi Arabia, not as a maid but as the official second wife of Areej’s husband.



Areej was completely shocked. She cannot stop thinking why her husband, of all women out there, married her maid. Is there something wrong with her that made her husband make this decision or is it him who has the problem?



Al-Riyadh daily interviewed several people to discuss this issue. Why do some husbands get attracted to their maids and end up marrying them? Who should be blamed: the husband or the wife?



She stole my husband

 

Samira Abdulmohsin, a Saudi housewife, had a similar experience. Two months after the arrival of her maid, she discovered the relationship between her husband and the maid, who ended up getting married.



“I guess I never thought that my maid would take my husband away from me. He was cheating on me with her and I found out about it.



What did he see in her? I cannot figure. She is not beautiful or clean,” Abdulmohsin said. When she insisted that the maid be sent back to her country, her husband married the maid and made her the second wife.

 

Maids have feelings too

 

Badriya Khalid, who lived the same experience, said most housewives forget that maids are women who have feelings and aspire to get married to a well-to-do man.



“Every time my husband says nice things to me, the maid gets jealous. I can tell from her face. I also discovered she uses my make-up and puts on my dresses when I am out.



She was trying to attract my husband’s attention,” Khalid said. In her opinion, wives should be blamed as well when their husbands start viewing the maids as second wives.



A wife should take good care of her husband and never let the maid does it for her.



Absence of care



Dr. Abu Bakr Baqadir, former sociology professor at King Abdulaziz University, says some husbands have complicated personalities and want too much care from their wives.



By care I mean accepted norms in society such as washing his clothes, cooking his favorite food and maintaining her looks.



If the wife fails in giving the husband this kind of care, he will definitely start thinking about the maid, especially if the latter tries show off her beauty, and he finds this in the maid.



“I am not saying that wives should act as maids and do nothing but take care of their husbands. What I am saying is wives should have a strong relationship with their husbands, a relationship that is built on mutual respect and love,” he explained.



Baqadir said married couples should look for ways to strengthen their relationship with one another. “Some men act like children sometimes and want to have what is not theirs.



This is where the wife’s attention comes into play. She should quench his desire and make look at no other women but herself,” he said.