Bibi Zainab Dowlut
We love company. We all do. It is in our nature. When Allah created Adam, although Adam was in Paradise, he was lonely and so Allah created for him; Hawa, to keep him company. We are no different from our father Adam, and we love to socialise. Sadly, surrounding oneself with the wrong people can have a lot of negative consequences. Thus it is our duty to seek out righteous friends, who will help us in our quest for Paradise, who will correct us when we err, and who will remind us when we forget.
There is no better way to describe the effects of friendship than the words of the most eloquent, our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him).
Abu Musa reported Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying, “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one (iron-smith) blowing bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you free of charge or you would buy it from him or you would smell its pleasant odour. As for the one who blows the bellows, he would either burn your clothes or you shall have to smell its repugnant smell.” [Muslim]
A friend who has good morals, who has manners, and upright character, will rub off on you only the good. You will learn from his ethics and you will gain a reputation of integrity. Even if you do not learn from him, then you would calm yourself in his presence out of awe for him. On the other hand, it is not worthwhile of your time to keep company with a friend who distracts you from the remembrance of Allah. Such a friend will only occupy your time with futile issues that have no benefit, and in fact could earn the wrath of Allah. He is astray and will lead you astray with him.
How many have been called away from Islam by their friends? How many have left their daily prayers because of friends? How many have lost their path due to the wrong friends?
In the Holy Qur’an, Allah gives such an example of one whose friend had led him astray.
{And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret], he will say, “Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me.” And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter.} (Surah Furqan, Chapter 25, verses 27-29)
On the day when there will be no return, no chance of changing the past, then one will regret his/her choice of friends!
Our Prophet (peace be upon him) also warned us of this fact when he said, “A man will follow the way of his close friend, so let each of you look at whom he takes as a close friend.” [At-Tirmidhi]
But friendship can also take a positive turn. Just as much as a bad friend can have a negative impact on an individual, a God-fearing friend can be a source of guidance by the will of Allah.
Abu Bakr took the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a close friend, and look how he is remembered in history. Stories abound of Abu Bakr’s loyalty to Allah and His Messenger. We advise children to be like him, and he is a role model for them. He is the best man after the Prophet peace be upon him, to the extent that he is guaranteed a place in Paradise, and will be one of the leaders in paradise! This is because he took a righteous man to be his friend.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about Abu Bakr, “Behold, of all people the most generous toward me in regard to his companionship and his property was Abu Bakr and were I to choose anyone as my bosom friend, I would have chosen Abu Bakr as my dear friend, but (for him) I cherish Islamic brotherliness and love.” [Muslim]
Without realising, one follows their friend, and their friend follows them. It is for this reason that we turn to our friends when we need advice, or when the going gets tough. And we celebrate with our friends in moments of happiness.
Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “You should seek sincere brothers, for they are an adornment at times of ease and a support at times of calamity.”
Today, friends are only a phone call away, or a message away. We connect with our friends throughout the week, if not multiple times a day. The influence they have over us is often more than that of our parents. Hence, we should seek out friends who will drive us towards good. Otherwise, regret and remorse will cover us when it is too late.
