Marriage misconceptions

Marriage misconceptions

March 28, 2016
Samar Al-Mogren
Samar Al-Mogren
Samar Al-Mogren

Samar Al-Mogren
Al-Jazirah

Last week Al-Jazirah newspaper published a report detailing the results of a study conducted by the Charitable Society for Marriage and Family Guidance in Jeddah. The results reflected a remarkable change in young Saudi men’s attitude toward marriage.

About 77.3 percent of young Saudis surveyed said they had no problem in marrying a divorced woman while 67.2 percent said they were ready to marry widows. About 74.6 percent of the participants said they would not have any objection to marrying women who are older than them.

These results indicate that Saudi society is undergoing a positive change and the approach of young men to marriage is no longer the same. In the past, men looked at women who they propose to as brand new or second-hand as if they were trading in goods that had expiry dates.

Young Saudis now want to trample those negative thoughts and concepts that lessen the value of human beings and demean women into the status of commodities, in total disregard for the humanitarian values that unite men and women on the basis of intellectual and emotional harmony.

Many negative concepts prevalent in the past made us live in a jungle-like atmosphere where men behaved like ferocious animals that preyed on smaller animals. Supporters of those practices were against fixing a marriage age for women because they wanted to prey on young girls. Their mentality was like that of someone purchasing a goat looking at its age and the number of its teeth. The most surprising thing is that almost all families encouraged this viewpoint and threw young girls to grooms having such a mentality.

They also opposed legislation preventing marriage of small girls citing the marriage of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) with Ayesha, may Allah be pleased with her. At the same time they ignore the Prophet’s marriage with Khadeeja, may Allah be pleased with her, who was 15 years older than him because such a marriage does not satisfy their carnal desires.

It is sad that our concept of marriage is replete with many flaws. But it is heartening that our young men have thrown away those baseless and inhuman concepts that have nothing to do with the teachings of Islam as well as moral and humanitarian values.

The marriage relationship is nobler than the age of man and woman. However, in all circumstances I don’t want to see a big difference in a couple’s age because it would create a kind of generation gap between the bride and groom. It would be nice if both of them have the same age.

It is widely believed that the higher the girl’s age the better would be her intellectual capacity. In my opinion a person’s maturity begins during teenage. I mean a 20-year-old girl would not be frivolous in her behavior. Of course, she will achieve remarkable intellectual growth when she reaches 30. Childishness can be controlled by age.

What I am trying to emphasize here is that marriage is a noble relationship that stands above all those sick and silly thoughts and concepts, especially toward women. Those men who look at women with good reasoning will not fail at all and they will be able to create a wonderful marital life that would not only satisfy their emotions but also their way of thinking.


March 28, 2016
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