By Dr. Fawziya Al-Bakr
THE recent incident involving a 17-year-old Saudi girl who, while in Turkey, uploaded videos documenting alleged abuse she suffered at the hands of family, highlights how social media is being used to bring attention to social taboos such as domestic violence.
As people share pictures and videos that document issues such as child and spousal abuse and domestic violence, society is left to answer a looming question: What is the boundary between the rights of parents in caring for their children and what are the limits of government intervention in domestic affairs? In other words, to what extent is it the right of parents to discipline their children before the government institutions intervene?
All of these questions, unfortunately, have no answers in the social service laws in Saudi Arabia because we have become accustomed to a male-dominated culture and social practices of what is familiar. Power structures play a key role in family dynamics and in a cultural context, the idea that children belong to their father until they are independent, was acceptable to social service institutions that pass legislation, such as the abuse prevention law.
In fact, the Shoura Council and committees of experts in the Council of Ministers debated the issue for years before it was approved because it is such a clear threat to cultural concepts that are centered on the ownership of the father to his family. No one is entitled to interfere in the family’s way of bringing up their children, and so if a father, for example, has decided that he does not wish to enroll his daughter in school, no government or institution can intervene. Compulsory education laws all over the world prevent this kind of abuse of power. If the father physically or verbally abuses his son in public, does anyone have the right to intervene in a “family affair”?
This is where the different cultural questions that predict the next social and cultural earthquake appear: the system of absolute power, whether we like it or not, must be studied so we can develop political and social institutions necessary to pave the way for its gradual democratization, which starts from the family. When the father accepts that he does not have absolute authority over his family members and that he is responsible for caring for them as long as he fears God and takes into account the country’s laws, this is ideal. But how do we make sure that he doesn’t overstep his authority?
Here the overlap between the family’s rights and the rights of public institutions begin in caring for children within the family? Do we adopt the Western model, which allows public institutions the right to care for a child if abuse is proven? But who defines the extent and type of abuse whether physical or verbal or sexual or even just to prove negligence? It is a frightening to think that public institutions will have power and authority greater than the family in caring for children as it is in the West and at the same time frightening also to leave children in the care of parents in absolute terms. In our situation, parents in most communities do not receive training and it is assumed that everyone is ready and fit to be a father or mother. Thus, parents’ fear of God or their love for their children are the two factors we assume protect 90 percent of children, but this does not eliminate cases of violence so what should we do?
I think that it is time to find a social monitoring system meant to monitor and track the status of children in high-risk families (poor families, families with a history of drug abuse, low or little educational and social levels) or in other words: we must keep a watchful eye on the most vulnerable and at risk members of society. There are hundreds of thousands of abandoned children, especially in small towns and remote rural areas away from urban cities, who require a system of social supervision and care that authorizes state institutions to intervene when the need arises. This will not only create jobs for thousands but also ensures that every child in our country is cared for in the humane and loving manner that every boy and girl deserve.
