A university professor’s proposal went viral when she suggested opening an academy to prepare young men who wish to enter polygamous marriages. As shocking as the professor’s proposal might be, I was more shocked by the backlash she received from both mainstream and social media.
Some people accused her of violating women’s rights and others claimed that she was mocking the sanctity of marriage. In a country where polygamy is legal, I ask, what is the problem in instituting it and encompassing it within a controlled and structured platform in which both the man and his wives fully consent to the format of the marriage?
Polygamy is not an Islamic invention and it is not a sign of a regressive society. Polygamy existed long before Islam in societies all over the world. In ancient Hebrew civilizations, a man could marry more than wife. In ancient China, a child could have more than one mother. In a polygamous household in China, the biological mother of the child was considered the queen wife and the other women in the family had lesser status in taking care of the child. In African tribes, polygamy was also common as men often married up to 10 women.
It was only with the rise of the Roman Catholic Church that polygamy became illegal. However, that did not stop married men from having mistresses, women they bedded without having any legal obligations to them. Moreover, there are modern Christian sects that believe in polygamy, such as the Mormons, but who do not receive legal protection within their own predominantly Western societies.
In fact, Martin Luther King himself said: “I confess that I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict the Scripture. If a man wishes to marry more than one wife he should be asked whether he is satisfied in his conscience that he may do so in accordance with the word of God. In such a case the civil authority has nothing to do in the matter.”
In compliance with Western secular values, we find that several Muslim countries have banned polygamy, including Turkey and Tunisia. Islam is the only religion and form of governance that has respected the human practice without discriminating against it and has instituted a form of justice to ensure that the rights of polygamous women are protected.
The Holy Qur’an states in (4:3): “And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].”
In an Islamic society, I ask the Saudi government: Where are the institutionalized procedures that give women the freedom to choose to be in a polygamous or monogamous marriage? I ask Saudi society that was so quick to retaliate against the university professor, what about the women who wish to be in a polygamous marriage? Where is their voice in the matter? Who is standing up for them? Do they not have the right to live comfortably in society and have the same resources that monogamous couples have?
Instead of mocking the professor for her novel idea, we should help to refine it and build on it to ensure that our society pays equal respect to both monogamous and polygamous marriages and gives the freedom of choice to both men and women, which is a privilege that many developed societies do not have.
Afnan Linjawi
