A story on CNN about how social media can be seriously detrimental to children is not pegged to any one particular incident; however, it seems like every day there’s another story about how the risks of social media are real.
For starters, it must be accepted that digital communication is here to stay. For so many children, pre-teens and teens, cellphones are always present and rarely turned off, and this constant connectivity creates new social challenges. Studies show that children are addicted, or at least adults feel they are, but whether many are experiencing the symptoms of true addiction - interference with daily life - is still up for debate. Also, no one has defined what “too much” time is.
The definition of addiction to smart phones could be that children would do nothing else if left to their own devices. It seems fallacious and a bit naïve to believe that if the smart phone is taken away there will be an increase in participation in, let’s say, family conversations at the dinner table. Parental controls can be defeated by determined kids. When children get their phones back the cycle begins all over again. Parents don’t have the time or energy to police their children around the clock. Many times it’s easier to just let children get their way. There is also the danger of creating a “parent vs. kid” dynamic that could backfire and a techno-panic mindset that worries parents.
What we know says that many older adults think devices harm conversations but younger adults aren’t as bothered. So it would be better and more realistic to acknowledge the good things that can happen when children connect, share, and learn online. Parents can help nurture the positive aspects by accepting how important social media is for their children and helping them find ways for it to add real value to their lives. Parents should embrace the technology and use it with their children. Parents would love it if their children managed their friendships the old fashioned way but they shouldn’t criticize their children for using it appropriately, even if it’s not their preferred method of communication.
That would not mean the end of face-to-face communication with family members, friends and others, but rather to strike a balance. That means aiming for a mix of screen and non-screen time that includes time with family and friends, reading, exercising, chores and creative time.
Although it’s true that posting anything online invites some risks, if you believe everything you hear about kids online, like cyberbullying, you might think bad guys are lurking around every cyber-corner. Yes, there is bad stuff out there. But the truth is, there’s a lot of good. Most kids want to have fun, hang out, and socialize normally online - and in fact, according to the Pew Research that’s what the majority of them are doing. In today’s world, where kids as young as eight are interacting with people online, they need to know the boundary between appropriate and inappropriate conversation.
The CNN story headline is “Why parents fear technology is making kids fat, dumb and mean”. Social media can allow for all three. But too often parents have a hard time appreciating the opportunities that their children want to be a part of on social media. At the same time, social media is not a zero sum game. There is no question that social media provides strong opportunities but with its power comes many challenges, especially to children. Inexperience makes it far more common for children to fail to recognize the potential danger of their activities. So while children need the ability to learn to make smart decisions, they need parents who are even smarter.
