Al-Watan

SEEK knowledge even in China. This famous saying applies to our sons and daughters. Almost every home in our country has sent a member abroad to seek knowledge, making use of the foreign scholarship program named after Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques.

Many of these scholarship students have started returning back after completing their studies at reputable international universities and institutes, especially in the US and other Western countries. We have noticed that the number of divorce cases among them is increasing.

We have seen some Saudi women students divorcing their husbands and leaving their children soon after returning from abroad without any obvious or logical reasons that usually require divorce. People usually blame the wife for the incident and accuse her of losing her mind and balance.

Others blame the absolute freedom enjoyed by wives while staying abroad with their husbands and the conflicts among couples arise when they are unable to enjoy the same freedom in the Kingdom. People can also find many other reasons for this strange phenomenon.

Unfortunately, I have witnessed a number of such divorce cases during the transitional period soon after returning from the Kingdom and it’s quite natural due to difference in the nature of space and time in addition to certain material, moral and social conditions.

Differences and conflicts are likely to occur during the transitional period, contributing to the destruction of even the most intimate relationships based on true and unconditional love. Yes, the fugitive wife might have held passionate love with her husband showing utmost forbearance while living together in a foreign country, overcoming all difficulties of life.

In order to avoid this problem every husband should think what may be reason for his best half to abandon him at a critical juncture. Ask himself, for example, whether his wife would do the same if they were in a foreign country, especially if his relationship was strong.

So, try to understand the problems and changes. She might have decided to leave you because of economic reasons as you could not find a good job after returning to the Kingdom. This is likely to be a strong reason. At times a person may be in a state of internal conflict with his old character, which is known to most people around him. At the same time, people should know a person could change in accordance with his new circumstances and experiences of life.

The main reason for the growing number of such divorce cases is the rough behavior of husband toward his wife in order to maintain his usual image among his sisters and other near relatives. The husband may be used to helping his wife at home and meeting her needs while living together in a foreign country.

Most divorce cases occur as a result of social customs and interventions of other family members under the pretext of providing support and gaining respect. This is a complicated issue and it’s difficult to solve. But in order to find a solution we have to tackle the root cause of the problem first and allocate prime time to discuss the matter with the two parties and reach a settlement.

We should also consider the negative feelings resulting from the change of environment and this is very important to prevent the person from falling into a state of deep sorrow and depression.

Finally, I would like to point out that withdrawing from a relationship at difficult circumstances is not a solution. I know that one may have experienced real obstacles and difficulties abroad, including racism, the burden of intensive studies and raising children without relying on anyone. But, one should not allow the differences during the interim period to destroy his happy family life.