Nisma Rafiq

Saudi Gazette

 

JEDDAH — Marriage is considered a sacred bond between a man and his wife in every culture and religion. 



Some people define it as a religious obligation, others as rituals and many others as a legal contract.  It requires the spouses to be compatible and accepted by both families.



Marriages are made in heaven, but their strengthening and maintenance must be done here on Earth.



It is found in almost every culture that after marriage, the girl moves into the groom’s house. She learns to adjust with her new environment and more or less strange in-laws.



However, Asian expatriates living in the kingdom are doing it the other way around.



A rising trend among Pakistani expats is that they wed their daughters to a person who would be willing to move to the Kingdom for good post marriage. The expenses of bringing the groom is largely borne by the girls' fathers.



Haifa Ibrahim, 25, who got married last year in Pakistan, is now living independently with her husband, a mechanical engineer by profession, in her.



Haifa's father had put forth the condition prior to marriage that the boy would have to work in Saudi Arabia.



“My daughter was born and raised in this local environment.” Haifa’s father told Saudi Gazette.



“It would have been difficult for her to get used to the tough conditions back home (Pakistan). That is why I wanted my son-in law to migrate here.”



Like Haifa’s father, many parents visit Pakistan to find a suitable match for their daughters.



It’s a tough search because they have to find someone who is ready to leave behind everything and move to a new country for the sake of the girl; but parents say it’s worth it.



The condition of moving to a foreign country comes a boon for some boys, but other would-be brides' parents lose good proposals if the boy's family objects.



When asked why not a find an eligible bachelor for their daughters here, a mother said: “It’s hard to find an eligible bachelor here as it’s almost impossible to know about the family’s background without a credible source. They might look decent, but we can never be sure.”

 

According to parents, there is a clear contrast in environments and comforts of the two countries.



“I wed my first daughter in Pakistan who was born in the Kingdom, and now it has been 10 years, but she has not be able to adjust in that environment," said a distressed mother.



“Therefore, I am looking for a suitor for my youngest daughter who is willing to move to Saudi Arabia so that I would be less worried for her.”



A son-in law and a father who has been living here for the past four years said: “Here, one can find better job opportunities to excel in career. It is difficult in the beginning to live in different surroundings with in-laws, but things get better.”