Lightening the dowry burden

Saudi Gazette report   Dowry prices in some parts of the Kingdom are spiraling out of control at a time when the percentage of unmarried women has reached an unprecedented level. Recently, Makkah Emir Prince Khalid Al-Faisal ordered governors to hold meetings with the chiefs of tribes in the region and draft a document to cap dowry prices and wedding expenses to deal with the higher number of unmarried women and the increasing wedding expenses. Young men wishing to get married nowadays can no longer afford the sizeable dowries. Serious steps need to be taken to avert future social and economic problems that can arise out of this social problem, Al-Riyadh daily reports. Salma Al-Dawsari, a college student, believes that putting a cap on dowry prices is not enough; expensive dowries are not the only reason why the percentage of unmarried women is increasing. “Look around and you will see how young men spend tens of thousands on cars or exquisite vacations. For me, I want my dowry to be not less than SR50,000. I do not want a big wedding because I do not want to start my marital life with debts,” Al-Dawsari. She blames young men for the higher rate of unmarried women because men get their expectations high when it comes to the dream wife. They want a strikingly beautiful and pampered woman, and on top of that she should be a teacher or an employee in the public education sector. If a man really wants to get married, he can take a loan from the charities that help young men and women get married. “If there is a will, there is a way,” Al-Dawsari said. Wafa Muhammad, a housewife, believes that SR50,000 is a lot of money for dowry and the majority of young men cannot afford it. A reasonable dowry should be SR30,000. “Let us not forget that in addition to the dowry, a young man has to provide accommodation, put furniture in it, pay for the wedding hall and food. Middle-income men find it difficult to afford all these expenses. I am not against small marriages where only the close relatives are invited,” she explained. Hamad Al-Tamimi, a real estate consultant, is in favor of capping the dowry prices as most young men receive an average monthly salary of only SR5,000. If their families do not help them, these young men cannot afford all the expenses. Today’s women want to live in separate accommodation and refuse to live in the same place with a husband’s family. Besides, they want a fancy wedding. “It is these traditions that make young men suffer financially and make a dent in their family budgets,” Al-Tamimi pointed out. Naif Al-Qahtani is an official registrar of marriage contracts at the Ministry of Justice. He noticed that the average dowry for marriages contracts he executed was SR50,000. “In some cases, the dowry written in the contract was as high as SR100,000. Some parents believe that the value of a girl depends on the value of the dowry. Consenting to a less dowry means that the parents have undervalued their daughter. No doubt they will be stigmatized by other members of society,” Al-Qahtani said. Hind Al-Derayes, a sociologist, criticizes high dowries and blames social traditions and customs for this negative practice that, if anything, has resulted in an increase in the number of unmarried women. When a young man graduates from college, he will usually face great difficulty in finding a good-paying job. If his family is a middle-class one, it will be hard for him to get married paying a big dowry, Al-Derayes said. She called upon parents and young women to take the difficult circumstances of young men into consideration. It is better for a wife to help her husband start their marriage without any debts.