Should women take blame if daughters stray?

IN the past, traditions and customs were such that mothers used to be blamed if their daughters went astray and engaged in unethical practices. Viewed as the protectors of their daughters, mothers were expected to take care of and raise them to be good citizens. However, such views have changed today and mothers are no longer blamed for the mistakes of their daughters. Al-Riyadh daily reports on the way modern society views the mother-daughter relationship. Dr. Salih Al-Aqeel, a criminology and sociology expert, said it was unfair for society to blame mothers for the mistakes of their daughters. “In the past, any positive or negative act a girl did would be associated with the way her mother raised her. Today, things have changed. A daughter’s moral compass can be affected by numerous outside factors such as the Internet, satellite TV and smartphones,” Dr. Al-Aqeel argued. “All a mother can do is to and enhance the religiosity level of her daughters and inculcate in her the teachings of the Shariah and hope for the better. The reason why many blame mothers is rooted in the social views and traditions of society,” he added. Outside factors Dr. Abdulaziz Al-Qonsol, professor of Islamic Creed at King Khaled University, said there is nothing in the Shariah that calls for blaming a mother if her daughter goes astray and engages in immoral behavior. “It is true that most daughters look up to their mothers for role models and are influenced by them but this fact does not give us the right to blame mothers. Many Dawah activists and religious men have sons who are drug addicts. Whether a son or daughter grows up to be a good citizen does depend on the father or the mother as much as it depends on the kind of upbringing this son or daughter has had when they were young,” he said. He drew attention to outside factors that can be considered more dangerous than the influence of a father or mother. “Parents should exert great efforts to protect their sons and daughters against these outside factors such as the Internet and bad company,” he said. Sociologist Ahmad Al-Saad said he believes that Saudi society has been immensely affected by the old views on mothers and women in general. If a daughter engages in immodest practices, she does not do it because of her mother’s influence. “Mothers are blamed because usually the relationship a mother and daughter develop is a strong one. A daughter usually imitates her mother and gets influenced by her. She follows her around everywhere. Still, a deviation from the moral path should not be blamed on mothers,” he said while adding it is encouraging that such misconceptions about mothers have started to disappear.